So, I just finished watching The Comedy Central Roast of Dennis Leary. As far as the Comedy Central roasts I've seen recently, (Leary, Shatner, and Saget), this was definitely the least funny. Leary did the best out of all the comedians on the stage. And these were guys I like. Adam Ferrara, Mario Cantone, Colin Quinn, All guys either who's subject matter or delivery style has influenced me. But they, and the others, barely got chuckles out of me and the audience.
And that terrifies me.
Those of you that actually know me know I like to perform. I did choir, I did theater, I did what I could to be on stage. I've wanted to stand up for several years now, and I've got a solid 20-25 minutes of material. Not good for a headline, but perfect for an open mic night. It's all personal experiences, no tangents, nothing political, just spins and observations on my life. I think it's funny, and I've had some opinions, but they're fairly biased.
The guys on the roast have been practicing comedy longer than I've been ALIVE. What makes me think I can get people laughing when they can get a chuckle?
Meh, I'll be here all week, tip your waitress and try the veal.
Friday, November 20, 2009
Saturday, November 14, 2009
Trying Something New 2
So, much like last time, this involves me trying new booze, new food, and something new with my appearance.
New Thing #1: Old Fashioned
Now, as I said before, I'm a beer drinker, and when I drink fancy, I drink whiskey. Typically I mix with whatever soda is available and enjoy. However, last night at Eastern Standard for a friend's birthday celebration, I tried an Old Fashioned. Definitely recommend trying one if you're a fan of the whiskey and are looking for something to try that's a little sweeter than usual.
New Thing #2: Marrow
No, I didn't require a transplant nor did I give a donation (I have issues with donating blood ffs). One of the appetizer options last night was Roasted Bone Marrow and I figured, Eh, what the heck? Basically, they bring you three sections of bone that have been roasted and seasoned, a little spoon, and some bread to shmear it on. Didn't really have much of a flavor too it, but it might have been overwhelmed by the bread. * shrug *
New Thing #3: Knockouts
So, those of you that have seen the pictures from Halloween (or have seen me in the last month) know that I had let my hair grow since August in order for it to be long enough for the Captain Hammer costume. Well, with Thanksgiving upon us, and my mother's wrath if I didn't, I went and got a haircut. Normally I go to Louie's on Comm Ave. Nice place, if you get in early enough, you've got a minimal wait (unless you want Louie specifically). But, I figured, eh, let's try some place new.
Knockouts in Framingham is some guy thinking "You know, I want to go to Hooters, but I really need to get a haircut. I wish I could combine them..." Their basic package, the Heavyweight, runs about $32 plus tip. With this you get, a consultation (basically the "So, what are we doing today?) a shampoo, cut, neck shave if you need it, and then a 5 minute scalp massage with a hot towel resting on your face.
After I walked out, I called my Darling Girlfriend and told her I was leaving her for Alyssa, my new stylist. Naturally I was kidding, but guys, I HIGHLY recommend trying this place at least once. Ladies, a gift certificate to this place would make a great stocking stuffer, or a great present for the 3 hour treatment for $92.
New Thing #1: Old Fashioned
Now, as I said before, I'm a beer drinker, and when I drink fancy, I drink whiskey. Typically I mix with whatever soda is available and enjoy. However, last night at Eastern Standard for a friend's birthday celebration, I tried an Old Fashioned. Definitely recommend trying one if you're a fan of the whiskey and are looking for something to try that's a little sweeter than usual.
New Thing #2: Marrow
No, I didn't require a transplant nor did I give a donation (I have issues with donating blood ffs). One of the appetizer options last night was Roasted Bone Marrow and I figured, Eh, what the heck? Basically, they bring you three sections of bone that have been roasted and seasoned, a little spoon, and some bread to shmear it on. Didn't really have much of a flavor too it, but it might have been overwhelmed by the bread. * shrug *
New Thing #3: Knockouts
So, those of you that have seen the pictures from Halloween (or have seen me in the last month) know that I had let my hair grow since August in order for it to be long enough for the Captain Hammer costume. Well, with Thanksgiving upon us, and my mother's wrath if I didn't, I went and got a haircut. Normally I go to Louie's on Comm Ave. Nice place, if you get in early enough, you've got a minimal wait (unless you want Louie specifically). But, I figured, eh, let's try some place new.
Knockouts in Framingham is some guy thinking "You know, I want to go to Hooters, but I really need to get a haircut. I wish I could combine them..." Their basic package, the Heavyweight, runs about $32 plus tip. With this you get, a consultation (basically the "So, what are we doing today?) a shampoo, cut, neck shave if you need it, and then a 5 minute scalp massage with a hot towel resting on your face.
After I walked out, I called my Darling Girlfriend and told her I was leaving her for Alyssa, my new stylist. Naturally I was kidding, but guys, I HIGHLY recommend trying this place at least once. Ladies, a gift certificate to this place would make a great stocking stuffer, or a great present for the 3 hour treatment for $92.
Saturday, November 7, 2009
First National Bank of WTF?
When I sat down to write this entry, it was going to be about how the banks use technology to screw us over. But as I was thinking, it's really society that's screwed itself over.
People have become so focused on instant gratification that they will use whatever technological advances they can without thinking about the complications. For example, Debit cards. I remember back before they were popular and were in their infancy among the common man. You would have to go to the bank, either use the ATM or *GASP* interact with a teller to get your money. Sometimes it wasn't convenient to carry a couple hundred around for a big purchase, so we used checks. But that became cumbersome and took time that people just didn't want to waste.
Enter the Debit Card. Using the same technology of the ATM, it linked your bank account directly to almost every merchant on earth. Now instead of lugging around a check book in your pocket and holding onto a pen or hoping your friendly shop keep had one, one swipe and several button pushes later, your transaction is complete.
This was great, till the banks started to capitalize on that. The biggest one is deciding the order in which the transactions resolved. With checks it was FiFo. First in, First out. With the debit and online purchases it's become WDCWWFiMETFo; "We Don't Care What Was First in, Most Expensive Transaction First out." This allows for maximum dinging of overdraft fees. Which brings me to the other issue, overdraft fees.
Back in the day, checks would bounce, and credit cards would get declined. Now the checks bouncing is fine, it's not a real time system. I'm fairly certain that in beginning, debit cards would also get declined, but that would end in embarrassment. I'm sure enough people called and bitched saying how mortified to have their debit cards declined that they made the banks do something else. Then someone had the brilliant idea of "Hmmmm, well we'll charge them the money we know they don't have!" /headdesk.
With the way they resolve transactions, 6 transactions could have gone through, and then the really big one resolves and you don't have enough so they ding you. Now they resolve the big one first, and ding you 6 times.
If we just slowed things down a little bit, you wouldn't have to worry about an overdraft fee on a shopping spree. I've started using cash a LOT more than I used to and I haven't had any issues, I recommend doing the same internet peoples.
People have become so focused on instant gratification that they will use whatever technological advances they can without thinking about the complications. For example, Debit cards. I remember back before they were popular and were in their infancy among the common man. You would have to go to the bank, either use the ATM or *GASP* interact with a teller to get your money. Sometimes it wasn't convenient to carry a couple hundred around for a big purchase, so we used checks. But that became cumbersome and took time that people just didn't want to waste.
Enter the Debit Card. Using the same technology of the ATM, it linked your bank account directly to almost every merchant on earth. Now instead of lugging around a check book in your pocket and holding onto a pen or hoping your friendly shop keep had one, one swipe and several button pushes later, your transaction is complete.
This was great, till the banks started to capitalize on that. The biggest one is deciding the order in which the transactions resolved. With checks it was FiFo. First in, First out. With the debit and online purchases it's become WDCWWFiMETFo; "We Don't Care What Was First in, Most Expensive Transaction First out." This allows for maximum dinging of overdraft fees. Which brings me to the other issue, overdraft fees.
Back in the day, checks would bounce, and credit cards would get declined. Now the checks bouncing is fine, it's not a real time system. I'm fairly certain that in beginning, debit cards would also get declined, but that would end in embarrassment. I'm sure enough people called and bitched saying how mortified to have their debit cards declined that they made the banks do something else. Then someone had the brilliant idea of "Hmmmm, well we'll charge them the money we know they don't have!" /headdesk.
With the way they resolve transactions, 6 transactions could have gone through, and then the really big one resolves and you don't have enough so they ding you. Now they resolve the big one first, and ding you 6 times.
If we just slowed things down a little bit, you wouldn't have to worry about an overdraft fee on a shopping spree. I've started using cash a LOT more than I used to and I haven't had any issues, I recommend doing the same internet peoples.
Monday, November 2, 2009
Shamless Plug
As I wait for my pizza, I feel I should at least post and shamelessly plug one of my best friends. The Lazy Man's Dilemma is a writing blog by my good friend Joe. We both kind of kicked off our respective blags (which Firefox recognizes as a word now) in earnest around the same time (actual creation dates may vary). TLMD is more of his thoughts and on how he is using it to improve his writing, where as this is about my observations that just can't be properly conveyed in 140 Characters. Oddly enough, "140 Characters" is the name of my Electronic Synth-pop band (Thank you P&S). Anyways read the Joe. Love the Joe. Honey, don't kill me for plugging him before you.
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